Random Thoughts

im confussed hehe

i wish i had my car up here

i miss my friends, especially Athena

i wish i knew what i wanted to do with myself

im having fun. :)

i have laughed alot lol

i wish i knew more than i do

maybe i should work on not being sooo lazy... hahaha

man i love music!

im happy

Embrace yourself

Are you ready maybe
Are you willing to run
Are you ready to let yourself drown
Are you holding your breath
Are you ready or not

Are you ready maybe
Do you long to confess
Do you feel that you're already numb
Are you sure of yourself
Would you lie if you're not

Maybe, are you ready to break
Do you think that I push you too far
Would you open yourself
Are you reckless or not

You tire me out
Don't wanna let that happen
A secret scream so loud
Why did you let that happen

so put your arms around me
You let me believe that you are someone else
cause only time can take you
So let me believe
That I am someone else

so put your arms around me
Make me believe
Take me
Somewhere
Let me believe
Cause only time can take you
So stop. 

Man, it seems like there is never enough time anymore, days just come and go faster and faster.
well here i am 18 years old, going off to college in 5 days! So many mixed emotions going on haha
i don't really know what to say about high school, it was fun, even at times, i had a blast! the events i encountered put me in a new perspective of what i think about now. i reread some xanga entries...even from when i first got a xanga. heh. some made me laugh soo hard, goodtimes! and good memories, some of which i miss a lot.
i met a bunch of great people in high school, i'm thankful for the friends i made, even though we all know everyone had there up's and downs. its weird...cause back then, i wasn't afraid of much, i was naive in a sense of not knowing the negatives that could be the end result in certain situations. here i am now, different because i have been hurt, i have been rejected and screwed over(-inform me of a teenage who hasnt encountered that). i now have more things to fear and worries, than i did before i started high school. its not so much they are on my mind 24/7, yet they are there in the back of my mind. definitely will say i had many great encounters, wether it be with fun teachers, amazingggg friends! extremely fun-ass moments, people really caring about me, and having people be there by my side. i have had quite a few laughs(and when i say few..i mean ALOT) as many to cancel out the bad. I am very fortunate to have a variety of people who cared so much. :) i am so thankful for that, and for my best friends!!! god, they are so amazing and i have so much fun with them and make me feel amazing in a sense that i have something to look forward too!

I'm extremely excited about college, the people i will meet and finding who i really am to be!
i will miss EVERYONE who had made the past four years a fun time for me and i wish all of you the best of luck!

here i come

:)

Currently Listening Deja Entendu By Brand New The Quiet Things that No one ever knows. see related

- ha i thought the title and song were appropriate for what i mention later on in this entry.

Dang, yesterday was sooo much Fun! i had such an effing-awesome time at Warped Tour! i got to see alot off the bands i wanted to see:) and i only got a few bruises but thats okay! totally worth it, thanks to Coheed and Cambria and Circa Survive and (believe or not) Yellow Card!!!  hahaha

amazing bands.
i love music. i enjoy everything about it, from the musical instrumentation to the vocals and lyrics and how it all compliments each other.
its like for every song for 3 minutes of your life, its like your somewhere else.
i do not know what i would do with out it.

so yes, anyways.

my summers going quite well

been working alot, hanging out with friends and the family before I head off to college

Today i worked, came home and then went to church. have nothing really to do tonight so i guess i'm just gunna chillax

i recently got adobe photo shop. its amazing, i could probably spend all day with it

i want to try and begin an art piece that i have in mind and start it before i go off to college, its just gunna take awhile. i think it'll be pretty neat when its done.

i also want to finish my high school scrap book...i finished my Italy one (FINALLY) just a few weeks ago.

im excited for college! SOO excited! i found out who my roommate is she seems pretty cool. I got the dorm i wanted, pretty siked for getting all the fun dorm stuff, and i'm excited for meeting so many new people. oh yes! and how could i forget.. pretty excited for PARTYING UP in Lubbock!! hahaha. so yeah i'm pretty much excited.

Although, at the same time....i'm worried that part of me will not let little things go when i go to college.
basically, i feel like there's just too much that time can not erase or needless to say that wont erase come time going to college, and that worries me as much as i try to not let it;  in regards to the past.

i'm proud of myself for getting over from what all i have went through. i realized nobody will really understand what all i went through. And thats okay, i'm really fine with that. 
 it's just sad to reflect that at one point in my life, i had something amazing and it was not physical. i do not know what it was exactly but it was the best feeling in the world.

something happened to where its gone now. i feel like i was in a different world at the time and it slowly decade away to hell., now hell is burning out...so its basically gone.

hopefully college with help overcome those thoughts, (if they ever pop up when im at college.)

i'm just worried that ill be happy and so content then i come home to visit and everything i see in carrollton will bring back memories.

glad to say some of those memories are starting to fade away, the good and the bad.

i have also realized with bad comes good and with good comes bad, and in certain situations its all or nothing.

i guess for me...my situation is now nothing. therefor, i should quite fretting about it in the back of my mind.

but i'm sure i'm going to be fine, hell i know i am. i've pretty happy lately. :)

gosh i'm soo excited!! gaaaah. only a few more weeks then i'm outta here!

well it was nice to type away in xanga, not like many people read these things anymore.
its cool to know that someone's curious about my thoughts and feelings, if they(you) do read this

alright well i'm out

"I was remembering back in elemtary school the other day, how i would always sit next to you on the bus after school and do my homework. One time the lead on my pencil was to low, and i asked you if you had a pencil, and you showed my how to do my pencil a certain way so that the point would be sharp. But i learned eventually, (which was just a few years ago) if you always go with mechanical, then it will always be sharp."
-Dillon

yep ever since i was a tot, i was an expert on showing people how to keep their pencils sharp...if you know what i mean... hahaha!! yay for random memory!

i'm glad i FINALLY have access to this site, my computer blocked it for months for some odd reason..

anyways

band banquet tomorrow
senior day next week
2 weeks till schools out
then GRADUATION! chea!

say whaaat

mmmm I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

only a couple weeks before i am done with HIGH SCHOOOL FOREVERRRRRRR

wooo!!!!!